Alan Watts was a visiting professor while I was attending UCSB. His presence was partially blamed by the administration for the riots in Isla Vista, where I was living at the time. The burning of the Bank of America and one (student?) death were hardly caused by a lecturer in transcendental longing or whatever his courses presented. There is a really great album by a band called Sun-Caged based on Watts: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_lQk4OwmwhV052Vwn6ivLlbjUugb63Vm2E
So incredibly relevant for me, as my partner is lost in some other frame of time with what is casually referred to as dementia. He lives in a blur of memories and dreamlike experiences which cause him terrible conflict - he "knows" this is happening but can do nothing to stop it. He is driven into panic - he wants to go "HOME".....and I go with him into this storm - it is all I can do - stay beside him. I am the last constant thing in his life, and I will not allow any "outsider" into this intimate space. We are One...alone against a backdrop of mundanity which continues like a weird noisy movie playing. That background is where well-meaning friends and neighbours warn me "I risk collapse if I don't allow support ". They think holding it all together is somehow dangerous - but I am finding it quite the contrary - I am on a bridge between the dream of existence and something much greater. It is awesome and terrifying, and my preview of something beyond the scratchings of my singular dreams of time and experience. My love for my partner is what has placed me firmly in this terrifying and awesome powerlessness. It has been the glue of 50 years of adventures...of loss, achievement, joy and sorrow - all passing by in this present point of time like a wave rushing to a shore - towards "Home"
My dear I haven't taken a read yet, but I just know you are a genius. I miss you
All best to you.
Alan Watts was a visiting professor while I was attending UCSB. His presence was partially blamed by the administration for the riots in Isla Vista, where I was living at the time. The burning of the Bank of America and one (student?) death were hardly caused by a lecturer in transcendental longing or whatever his courses presented. There is a really great album by a band called Sun-Caged based on Watts: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_lQk4OwmwhV052Vwn6ivLlbjUugb63Vm2E
So incredibly relevant for me, as my partner is lost in some other frame of time with what is casually referred to as dementia. He lives in a blur of memories and dreamlike experiences which cause him terrible conflict - he "knows" this is happening but can do nothing to stop it. He is driven into panic - he wants to go "HOME".....and I go with him into this storm - it is all I can do - stay beside him. I am the last constant thing in his life, and I will not allow any "outsider" into this intimate space. We are One...alone against a backdrop of mundanity which continues like a weird noisy movie playing. That background is where well-meaning friends and neighbours warn me "I risk collapse if I don't allow support ". They think holding it all together is somehow dangerous - but I am finding it quite the contrary - I am on a bridge between the dream of existence and something much greater. It is awesome and terrifying, and my preview of something beyond the scratchings of my singular dreams of time and experience. My love for my partner is what has placed me firmly in this terrifying and awesome powerlessness. It has been the glue of 50 years of adventures...of loss, achievement, joy and sorrow - all passing by in this present point of time like a wave rushing to a shore - towards "Home"
I wish the both of you all goodness, Richard. What you describe is so poignant.