When I started writing in my early teens, there always came a moment I experienced nearing a sort of threshold of darkness. I shrank from it. I didn't dare cross it then. Later on, I got more courageous, and let something spur me on. I called that my daemon... He was in control. I wasn't. The result was that - around age 33 - a whole collection of beginnings burst from me, shards of a mirror I was not yet able to puzzle together. But my mastery was growing. I was able to focus on one 'shard', which turned into a long story. This story expanded into a novel, which grew and grew. A fellow novelist suggested I split the work into two parts to make it more manageable for myself and for my readers. To my surprise I saw that this bi-partite option was underlying the whole thing. This gave me wings and I finished part 1 in 2016. A few months ago I noticed that I was writing the big climax to a part 2 of a trilogy, and that the double (eu)catastrophe which caps the whole project could not be fitted into this part I was writing... I finished part 2 two weeks ago. I started the whole project in 1996. Through all those years I have let my daemon lead me until a certain point, at which I took over and led him. In this way I have seen into and survived multiple abysses.
This is fascinating to read, Johan, and it dovetails nicely with our private conversations in which you have explained some of this numinous creative explosion and evolution within your identity and experience. The part about "a whole collection of beings beginning to burst from me, shards of a mirror I was not yet able to puzzle together," puts me in mind of Pessoa. I appreciate your sharing more info about this in your comment.
Thank you, Matt. And that Pessoa connection is real. Another remarkable fact: W.B. Yeats, Fernando Pessoa and, ahum, myself, we all play with 'personae', and all were/are born on June 13th...
Oh, my. What a wonderful calendrical synchronicity. I dig it. In my own case, I have long been fond of noting each year when my birthday rolls around (which, as I type these words, will happen tomorrow) that I share August 24 with Borges, and that Bradbury (August 22) and Lovecraft (August 20) are also closely clustered nearby. So is Jon Padgett, a week before my birthday. Plus, in the very month and year when I was born, an adolescent Thomas Ligotti had his psychological meltdown while under the influence of drugs and received the nightmarish vision of the universe that went on to underwrite his horror stories. For me, the mythic resonances are strong.
That's remarkable, too. As your birthday in my country is only 26 minutes away, I wish you health and fortitude and inspiration! And a host of new readers!
When I started writing in my early teens, there always came a moment I experienced nearing a sort of threshold of darkness. I shrank from it. I didn't dare cross it then. Later on, I got more courageous, and let something spur me on. I called that my daemon... He was in control. I wasn't. The result was that - around age 33 - a whole collection of beginnings burst from me, shards of a mirror I was not yet able to puzzle together. But my mastery was growing. I was able to focus on one 'shard', which turned into a long story. This story expanded into a novel, which grew and grew. A fellow novelist suggested I split the work into two parts to make it more manageable for myself and for my readers. To my surprise I saw that this bi-partite option was underlying the whole thing. This gave me wings and I finished part 1 in 2016. A few months ago I noticed that I was writing the big climax to a part 2 of a trilogy, and that the double (eu)catastrophe which caps the whole project could not be fitted into this part I was writing... I finished part 2 two weeks ago. I started the whole project in 1996. Through all those years I have let my daemon lead me until a certain point, at which I took over and led him. In this way I have seen into and survived multiple abysses.
This is fascinating to read, Johan, and it dovetails nicely with our private conversations in which you have explained some of this numinous creative explosion and evolution within your identity and experience. The part about "a whole collection of beings beginning to burst from me, shards of a mirror I was not yet able to puzzle together," puts me in mind of Pessoa. I appreciate your sharing more info about this in your comment.
Thank you, Matt. And that Pessoa connection is real. Another remarkable fact: W.B. Yeats, Fernando Pessoa and, ahum, myself, we all play with 'personae', and all were/are born on June 13th...
Oh, my. What a wonderful calendrical synchronicity. I dig it. In my own case, I have long been fond of noting each year when my birthday rolls around (which, as I type these words, will happen tomorrow) that I share August 24 with Borges, and that Bradbury (August 22) and Lovecraft (August 20) are also closely clustered nearby. So is Jon Padgett, a week before my birthday. Plus, in the very month and year when I was born, an adolescent Thomas Ligotti had his psychological meltdown while under the influence of drugs and received the nightmarish vision of the universe that went on to underwrite his horror stories. For me, the mythic resonances are strong.
That's remarkable, too. As your birthday in my country is only 26 minutes away, I wish you health and fortitude and inspiration! And a host of new readers!